【Rebirth】Ordinary Freedom

Between the change in my diet and the progress in my Spanish, I've been feeling genuinely happy and fulfilled lately.

My daily life these days is quiet — properly introverted — but it feels like a comfort zone rather than a limit. I like small things: listening to music, the little rituals of an ordinary day. It feels healthy, in a way it hasn't before.

To enjoy daily life through its small things.

I have idols now, which means I can like other human beings again. Pets is an extraordinary person. I feel like I know her completely, and I can feel her energy even from wherever I happen to be, living happily alongside it.

I've started reading again — novels, books, an easy drama some evenings — and my hormones, apparently, have noticed. I think I might be ready for some romance.

I am genuinely happy about my adulthood now. No man, no trouble.

Which is to say: nothing resembling patriarchy, in any existential sense.

Like my parents, my family, my hometown, my home country.

They are no longer part of my life. I know I still resent them sometimes — closer to hatred than I'd like to admit — but I can live alongside that feeling.

I don't want to start a family of my own accord. I don't like the basic terms this society runs on, so I won't plant something new in this soil, in this toxic air. Not while it's within my power to refuse.

So my task now is simply to enjoy my own life — to do what I can with what's in my hands, to look for what's possible, to experience it and enjoy it. My life, and only mine.

I feel so free. As if it's just me, alone on my own planet, growing however I like.